The following questions have been designed to help you assess whether you are codependant. This assessment is not designed to take the place of a professional diagnosis, rather to help you reflect. As you read each of the following, click the button beside each question you answer YES to. Remember to be honest with yourself when asking do you: Self Esteem Have periods of feeling worthless? Have periods of feeling better than those around you? Look for ways (taking care of others, trying to be perfect) to make yourself feel less worthless or better than others? Believe you are enough just the way you are? Have periods when you make a mistake, or someone gets angry with you or you are rejected, when you feel so overwhelmed with shame / worthlessness that you want to die, feel nauseous, etc? Boundaries Have times when you don’t know what you feel? Feel overwhelmed by others’ feelings? Have times when you know you should feel something but you don’t? Refuse to let others know how you feel? Feel responsible for others feelings? Believe someone else is responsible for your feelings? Try and convince others to think like you do? Take on others’ thoughts because they seem better than yours? Let people touch you when you don’t want to be? Touch others without thinking about whether or not they agreed to it? Reality Don’t know how you feel? Refuse to acknowledge or reveal how you feel? Don’t know what you think? Withhold your thoughts from others? Don’t know what your body feels / looks like? Don’t want anyone to know what your body feels / looks like? Don’t recognise your own behaviour when someone describes it to you? Feel assaulted, trapped or angry when someone tells you what your behaviour is? Always want to be right? Try to be good and perfect? Feel like you are basically bad? Feel a strong need to fight the rules? Frequently find yourself trying to please, or in great conflict with authority figures? Dependency Don’t know what your needs and wants are? Don’t want to appear too needy? Feel you don’t know how or are incapable of meeting your needs? Find yourself depending on others too much to meet your needs? Believe you should never depend on anyone else? Frequently have people tell you that you are too dependent? Ignore your own needs and wants and try to take care of those around you? Moderation Feel like you bounce back and forth from one extreme to another? Feel like a little kid or have people tell you act like one? Can’t remember ever being a kid? Never seem to be able to follow through on responsibilities – forget to do things, procrastinate? Do your work plus everyone else’s just to make sure it all gets done? Feel like you have to know what’s going to happen in the future all the time to be comfortable? Feel like you have to know/understand everything to feel comfortable? Fell like nothing ever turns out the way you intended? Have others told you, you are out of control?
