What does Sex Addiction mean?
Addictive
sexual behaviours, like many compulsive behaviours, are a potentially
destructive twist on a normal life-enhancing activity. Defining sex
addiction depends less on the behaviour itself than on the person’s
motivation. “Sex addicts” display a lack of the ability to control or
postpone sexual feelings and actions – with the need for arousal often
replacing the need for closeness and intimacy.
As sexual
preoccupation increases in terms of energy and time, the individual
follows a routine or ritual, leading to acting out on desires followed by feelings of denial then shame, despair and confusion.
Ritualised behaviours may range from frequenting the same bars and
clubs, using sex workers, pornography and/or Internet materials that
build over time.
This addiction involves a particular cycle of behaviours and emotions and include:
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Preoccupation: continual fantasies about sexual prospects or situations. This can trigger an episode of sexual “acting-out” |
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Ritualisation: a preferred sexual activity or situation is often stereotyped and repetitive |
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Compulsion: continual engagement in sexual activity despite negative consequences and desire to stop |
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Despair: guilt or shame over their inability to control behaviour or feel remorse |
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Other behavioural problems, particularly chemical dependency, gambling and eating disorders |
For individuals who suffer from sexual compulsivity, the sense of being “out-of-control” can lead to constriction of lifestyle, social withdrawal, mood difficulties and hopelessness. Frequently, individuals with this difficulty may also suffer from substance dependency, depression and anxiety, suicidal thoughts, difficulties managing the demands of work, and often-intense feelings of aloneness.
Causes & Recovery Options
Much discussion and research has implicated early psychological development as the likely area of impairment – with faulty experiences of early care giving being viewed as common among sufferers. Similarly, many sex addicts report some form of physical or emotional abuse and/or neglect as children and frequently see themselves as “diminished or damaged” in the process.Stress also plays a part in fuelling compulsive sexual behaviour by feeding the individual’s need for withdrawal and fantasy. In this sense, it can be viewed that the behaviours involved in the compulsion reflect attempts to manage and reduce the impact of stress. These behaviours may also increase during periods of aloneness and isolation, again due to associated feelings of distress and discomfort.
Other researchers have argued for a biological basis of the addiction, with a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA) being identified. Levels of phenylethylamine (PEA) - a chemical in the brain involved in the euphoria that comes with falling in love - rise with feelings of infatuation, boosting euphoria and excitement. Love and sex addicts, they suggest, may simply be dependent upon the physical and psychological arousal triggered by PEA and stress-related neurotransmitters. In this sense, whilst this type of addiction does not involve a substance, individuals who attempt to reduce or manage their behaviours may experience similar levels of craving and withdrawal.
Overcoming sexual compulsivity and addiction starts with the recognition that you are out of control sexually. This recognition is often experienced as very confronting, and can only be made through taking account of the social, financial and emotional impact of the behaviours.
Frequently, individuals experience an inability to confront this problem on their own due to the power and extent of the compulsion. At South Pacific Private, our program and staff are specifically trained to helping you confront this problem and live with greater creativity and confidence.
Treatment typically involves:
- a commitment to stopping the compulsive behaviour;
- rebuilding relationships through couples or family therapy,
- stress and “emotion” management,
- active engagement in an ongoing recovery network, and resolving any addictions that may accompany the sexual acting out such as alcohol, drug, gambling or work.
If you are experiencing difficulties with sexual compulsivity, you can find help and support in a program designed for your needs. Contact us on 1800 063 332 or via our quick email form to find out how we can help you.
