What does Sex Addiction mean?
Addictive
sexual behaviours, like many compulsive behaviours, are a potentially
destructive twist on a normal life-enhancing activity. Defining sex
addiction depends less on the behaviour itself than on the person’s
motivation. “Sex addicts” display a lack of the ability to control or
postpone sexual feelings and actions – with the need for arousal often
replacing the need for closeness and intimacy.
As sexual
preoccupation increases in terms of energy and time, the individual
follows a routine or ritual, leading to acting out on desires followed by feelings of denial then shame, despair and confusion.
Ritualised behaviours may range from frequenting the same bars and
clubs, using sex workers, pornography and/or Internet materials that
build over time.
This addiction involves a particular cycle of behaviours and emotions and include:
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Preoccupation: continual fantasies about sexual prospects or situations. This can trigger an episode of sexual “acting-out” |
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Ritualisation: a preferred sexual activity or situation is often stereotyped and repetitive |
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Compulsion: continual engagement in sexual activity despite negative consequences and desire to stop |
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Despair: guilt or shame over their inability to control behaviour or feel remorse |
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Other behavioural problems, particularly chemical dependency, gambling and eating disorders |
For individuals who suffer from sexual compulsivity, the
sense of being “out-of-control” can lead to constriction of lifestyle,
social withdrawal, mood difficulties and hopelessness. Frequently,
individuals with this difficulty may also suffer from substance
dependency, depression and anxiety, suicidal thoughts, difficulties
managing the demands of work, and often-intense feelings of aloneness.
Causes & Recovery Options
Much discussion and research has implicated early psychological development
as the likely area of impairment – with faulty experiences of early
care giving being viewed as common among sufferers. Similarly, many sex
addicts report some form of physical or emotional abuse and/or neglect
as children and frequently see themselves as “diminished or damaged” in
the process.
Stress also plays a part in fuelling compulsive
sexual behaviour by feeding the individual’s need for withdrawal and
fantasy. In this sense, it can be viewed that the behaviours involved
in the compulsion reflect attempts to manage and reduce the impact of
stress. These behaviours may also increase during periods of aloneness
and isolation, again due to associated feelings of distress and
discomfort.
Other researchers have argued for a biological
basis of the addiction, with a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA)
being identified. Levels of phenylethylamine (PEA) - a chemical in the
brain involved in the euphoria that comes with falling in love - rise
with feelings of infatuation, boosting euphoria and excitement. Love
and sex addicts, they suggest, may simply be dependent upon the
physical and psychological arousal triggered by PEA and stress-related
neurotransmitters. In this sense, whilst this type of addiction does
not involve a substance, individuals who attempt to reduce or manage
their behaviours may experience similar levels of craving and
withdrawal.
Overcoming sexual compulsivity and addiction starts
with the recognition that you are out of control sexually. This
recognition is often experienced as very confronting, and can only be
made through taking account of the social, financial and emotional
impact of the behaviours.
Frequently, individuals experience an
inability to confront this problem on their own due to the power and
extent of the compulsion. At South Pacific Private, our program and
staff are specifically trained to helping you confront this problem and
live with greater creativity and confidence.
Treatment typically
involves:
- a commitment to stopping the compulsive behaviour;
- rebuilding
relationships through couples or family therapy,
- stress and “emotion”
management,
- active engagement in an ongoing recovery network, and
resolving any addictions that may accompany the sexual acting out such
as alcohol, drug, gambling or work.
If you are experiencing difficulties with sexual compulsivity, you can find help and support in
a program designed for your needs. Contact us on 1800 063 332 or via our
quick email form to find out how we can help you.
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